Discussion: How to not be a jerk

A while back I saw one of those “ten things” lists on Facebook. It was titled “Ten Things to do to Make Your Girl Smile.” It was one of the most condescending and superficial things I’ve ever seen. Filled with things like “tell her she’s pretty,” and “buy her nice things,” and “make reservations and take her to a nice restaurant where all she has to do is show up and look pretty.” Because apparently women are just interested in material items and being told they are pretty.

It got me thinking, so I jotted down my own list of how a woman should be treated every day. What do you think? Thoughts and comments are appreciated.

  1. Treat her as an equal rather than an object.
  2. Determine her interests and make an effort to learn about them.
  3. Engage her with intelligent conversation and make it clear you respect her opinion.
  4. Listen to her needs and respond with honesty and compassion.
  5. Buy her a random gift that is thoughtful, that shows you are paying attention to her interests, whether it’s “nice things” or not.
  6. Rub her feet when she’s had a long day. Make her a cup of tea.
  7. Take her side. If she’s confiding in you about a problem it’s because she’s looking for a supporter, not a critic.
  8. Take a deep breath and think before you speak. Words cannot be unsaid. Never underestimate the hurtful power of words.
  9. When she talks, listen to her. Even if she’s interrupting your sporting event.
  10. (I’m borrowing this one from Audre Lorde). “Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.”

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